April 6, 2010 § 2 Comments
Much to the dismay of my bank account, I have left the rat-race sooner than expected. For months now the tension had already been building up, and one fine day last week, I was pushed into a corner I could not get out of. Finally I could take no more and walked out of that hell-hole after what I could only describe as an almost-criminal interrogation session. There was only bad cop, and the blame game was played for a good 30 minutes, of which I was the clear loser. In the end, I chose to surrender to the losing battle, and volunteered to leave then and there.
I lasted less than 6 months, my shortest ever in my history of employment. I later learned that there were so many others in the position before me who left in the exact same manner due to the exact same circumstances. Some people lasted 6 months, one guy only lasted 1 week. I was told stories of people being bullied to quit. I felt happy that it wasn’t me, it was them.
Now that I’ve rejoined the jobless club, once again I find myself re-evaluating my life and my goals. Whatever I was doing for the last 6 months, was not me. Who am I? What is my purpose? I’m still clueless. I have fragments of ideas, small windows into the future I could build for myself, but they are fleeting and do not last. All I know is I need to find something, pronto. I struggle not to fall into the same trap I set up for myself, but at last rent does not pay itself. What shall I do? How do I find something that I love doing yet not end up in the poorhouse? Is that a paradox in itself? So many questions. I hope to have some answers in the next post.