Lost in translation

March 23, 2010 § Leave a comment

Having grown up in an environment where feelings are commonly repressed and emotions are known to be stored in the deepest darkest corners never to be seen again, it’s safe to say that I’ve been well-trained in the art of non-communication. In the event that we do have to convey emotional information, it has to be done in an efficient and least confrontational manner so as to avoid unnecessary conflict at all costs. With so much effort, sometimes I just decide not to acknowledge these nasty feelings, go to sleep, and hope they go away.

Although this method has seen me through life for the past 3 decades, I never really considered it detrimental until now. With my well-known loathing of most people at work, I spend my 8-hour day actually trying to minimize contact with anyone in the event of which I would actually need to talk to them. This applies to talking to people in person, and talking to people on the phone. I haven’t quite decided which is worse. Sometimes I let the phone go to voicemail on purpose, and later reply by email if possible – this being my preferred method of communication, as it avoids having to talk to idiotic people (as per previous post) or waste time having long conversations on the phone.

My dislike of phone conversations also extends to my personal life. I do not chat with my girlfriends or even the companion on the phone. When we do not see each other in person, my mode of communication is text message, email, or MSN. Finally I’ve come to realize that what I now face is a bit of a communication problem. With all this work going into not talking to people, plus coming home to an empty apartment, I appear to be losing the ability to speak at all.

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