A box of chocolates

September 16, 2009 § Leave a comment

This post is part rant, part dribble, and part ponder.

Last night, over lemongrass pork and salad, I discussed relationships with a 24-year-old. The 24-year-old is full of hope and wonder about love. The 31-year-old said, bah, what is love? How does one know when swimming deep inside it? Is it a feeling that could be warm and fuzzy? Does it present flowers on a stone cold morning with a droopy smile and chocolate kisses? Will it involve days when hearts are filled with sorrow but also with great happiness at the same time?

At long last, the answers still elude me. In a city where people regularly deconstruct relationships, I have temporarily given up on trying to form any more of them. Like I said to 24-year-old, it is all too much effort. It has taken me a very long time to get to this point in a relationship. I will fight hard for it. and should I lose this battle, sure, I’m still awesome, but there will be a little part of me that would have perished along with it. If it’s too easy, is it ever a real relationship? If it’s too hard, do we give up? Is it better to be alone or to be challenged regularly?

In other news, my new work thinks I’m super awesome and wants to give me a new computer, despite being completely anti-social and spending the last 2 days pretending to work while actually chatting away on the internet. Believe me, you are as confused as I am.


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