March 3, 2009 § 3 Comments
Melons, balloons, cans, funbags, hooters, boobs. And my personal favourite, chesticles.
I could keep going with the supposedly 138 words the human brain has thought up to describe female breasts, but I suppose all who are reading this should have their minds filled with images of them already. Right? Why the fixation? Because today, I saw lots of them. Lots and lots and lots. Big kinds, small kinds, saggy kinds, flat kinds, all kinds.
It is Tuesday, and the internet informs me that it is ladies day at the thermal baths. Having arrived in Budapest late last night and slept in till 10am this morning, I really could think of nothing better to do than to wile away more time in hot spring water. Laziness rules. My latest couchsurfer C had recommended a large one which could only be reached by bus. Oops. Hate the bus, so in my usual sloth-like fashion I decided to go the the closest one within walking distance.
Although the external appearance of the building was rather plain, the inside was breath-taking. After paying my entrance fee I was led to the changing cabins. The attendant asked me, as if it was the most normal thing in the world, whether I wanted a loin cloth. Wtf? I’m not a loin cloth wearing person. No loin cloth for me, thanks. I’d rather wear my black-and-white bikini, which I haven’t worn since Dubai. I wrapped my towel around myself and walked through the labyrinths of showers and cubicles to arrive in the square-shaped thermal bath room.
There was only one main bath in the shape of a decagon, with four smaller baths in each corner. As I sunk myself into the decagon bath, I couldn’t help but be glad that I decided to go to this smallish one as the scene that greeted me really could not have been handled on a larger scale.
Naked women. Everywhere. Maybe two dozen or more. Sure, some were young and cute, and even one or two hot ones. But not many. Not many hot naked women at all. Sadly, no. Many old and fat naked women with their bajingos down to their knees kissing their celluloid asses. Their breasts bobbed, and they bounced. And ladies, unruly hair around the crotch region is not a good look. It was my first time in a public bath, so I perved, and I judged. Man, I judged every one of them. My eyes were sore. Really. I felt like running up to these women and offering them a one-piece swimsuit and a shaver. They should have taken the loin cloth at the reception!
Whew. Judging people gets tiring, especially when done from a 42 degree mineral spring bath for over two hours. I was starving on the way back, so I HAD to treat myself to a big delicious Hungarian meal, with dessert. Now I shall close my eyes, and try not think of big women’s squachies.